Christine 1, Marriage 0

Recently I received a request on Facebook from a girl I knew in high school. We were never truly close and I didn't want to come off as being rude or snarky so I accepted the digital friendship token that was laid in my inbox. Shortly after I clicked "add to friends" she im'ed me. Aside from the "hey how are you" banter (actually it was "hey how r u"), she asked, "r u married yet?" Apparently she is married, with 4 children. I told her I am enjoying the single life in the big city.

Normally, I would have been irritated by such a question; the idea that my life is incomplete because I do not have anyone to share it with,or don't cart around children is enough to drive any singleton mad. I love children--someday I will cart around a slew of them--well, maybe not a slew, but you get the idea. I just never wanted to just have that be the only thing to aspire to do. Do I want to get married? For sure. Would I rather graduate college, go teach English in a foreign country, go to NYC for my MFA, and then figure the rest of that bullshit out? In the words of the lesser Palin, "You betcha!"

I recall having many pep-talks from my best friend (who graduated college, is currently in Korea teaching English, and has lived in NYC) that a woman doesn't necessarily HAVE to go into being brood mare for the state--she has many options based upon what SHE wants to do; meanwhile I felt like a loser because I wasn't married or in the vicinity of that sort of life. Now, being 29, I am a bit older and wiser. She knew something that I couldn't quite grasp (she did graduate before me, mind you). I write my own destiny. I may bloom early in some things, but late in others. And who the fuck cares? I love my life and I wouldn't change it for the world. Everything I've gone through has been done so for a specific reason. If I weren't in school at Roosevelt University in Chicago, I would have never met the most amazing people I have, I would not be taught by such a faculty and I wouldn't be the person I am today. And I rather like myself, married or no. I am not a failure.

Elbert Hubbard once said, "A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience." In these terms, I am as rich as The Trump sans the buildings, golf courses, tv shows, ex wives and raccoons on my head. Who needs that anyway? Not I.

So while my "new" friend from high school may love her life--and I'm sure she does, it doesn't mean that I should feel disgusted with my own. We simply have different priorities at this moment. She may be up late with her three year old, where I may be woken up by my visiting cousin, having a disagreement with her soon to be ex-boyfriend. My vision for my life is no more skewed than hers. Then again, she said she missed Florida--and that is one thing we'll never see eye to eye on.

Summer in the City Part II: Electric Boogaloo

So the last time I wrote, I was on the quest for my 2009 summertime jam.

My quest was fruitful, as I have found BOTH my songs--the daytime upbeat song and the nighttime song...

First, the day: Gold Guns Girls by Metric




And then came Smashing Pumpkins' The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning. You'll remember the lyrics if you are a Pumpkin head and remember that AWFUL Batman movie with George Clooney but it was called The End Is The Beginning Is The End. It's just been remixed and someone made a video of an eye that gets covered up by...well...I'll just let you take a gander, if not a listen.




So there it is folks. My summer songs of 2009. Lick it up baby, lick it up!

Summer in the City

Going through summer without having a "summertime jam" is like going to the prom without a theme...in a dress that you hate...with your cousin. So while I have been hitting the streets, trying to do all the free stuff I can in Chicago, I have been thinking about my own personal "summertime jam."

What exactly is the criteria for such a jam? Does it have to be upbeat? Does it have to sway you? Must it have the word "summer" in it? All good questions. I asked my music snob friend, Smith, and she said "Electric Field by MGMT, but that was last year's summer jam." Then I explained my question a bit further and she agreed that it should be something that is upbeat for it to be a true summer song. And I'm willing to go along with that. I remember when Taking Back Sunday's "Make Damn Sure" was the summer song---and it truly was. But what about at night? Should there be a different summer time song for night than there should be in the day? Something more "twilight-ish?" And by "twilight-ish" I am not referring to something that is vampiric--calm down you blood-sucking crazed teenys---this isn't about Edward or Jacob. Bands like Death Cab and Fleet Foxes, that to me is "twilight" music...the kinda of tunes you can lay in bed with your lover, holding hands on a sheetless matress and sigh in the twilight of the evening.

There are many songs that have to do with summer: "In the Summertime" by Mungo Jerry, "Summertime" by Will Smith (ala DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince), The Ramone's cover of "California Sun"...and then there are those that just remind you of the summertime because you spent your day (or night for that matter) cruising around in your mother's Camry, listening to The Violent Femmes or Offspring, 311 or Smashing Pumpkins. Or maybe you spent it watching MTV when they used to play music videos--when Bill Bellamy was still hosting MTV JAMS and you weren't sure if you liked Kennedy yet. How simple times were then...before you had to choose your own path to a summertime jam.

As I got older, punk/ska music became more of a substitute for my summertime jams. It was fast paced, rather intelligent and insightful (depending on the band) and it just seemed to make sense at the time. Summer was for punk, acoustic for Fall, Harder stuff for Winter, Warmer music for Spring...the cycle continued. Until one day, you have to stop it and come into your own. You get to decide what your song will be--it can follow the events of the time, be it historical or personal. Something tells me that many will be putting Michael Jackson as their summertime jam for 2009. You already know how I feel about that, so we'll move on.

In the end, I suppose I will have to keep searching for this thing, known as the "summertime jam." I may find the even more elusive creature--the summertime romance, first.