Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Insane Ramblings...What's A Girl To Do?

Intention can be a funny word...it brings into thought what you ought to do, what you meant to do, what you meant, or should have meant. I don't have many intentions these days. Nothing is done with a purpose--at least, I'm getting lost in the haze that is the process. Perhaps it's just Monsoon Season and I have too much water on the brain. Or maybe not enough coffee on the brain. In either case, my intentions are still lacking.

What my intentions are and what I actually manifest rarely ever align themselves, but at least I recognize this? Right? That's a step in the correct direction, if there is ever a correct direction...right? I spend too much time thinking in terms of right or wrong, as if everything is really that cut and dry, black and white, Edward and Jacob. Wait...what?

Last week was phenomenal. This week, I'm drowning. I'm questioning everything I do, I think, and say. What kind of life is it to constantly sit in inquiry and mull over the things you did, thought, and said? Yay to thinking in inquiry--and a big fat nay for the mulling of things. I know that we can only become better versions of ourselves if we sit and meditate and ask questions of ourselves--searching for understanding seems to be man's "groove." But to rip yourself to shreds is not apart of said groove.

I feel so far away from home right now and I'm not even talking about "family" home. I'm referring to "me" home. Perhaps I should rephrase that, the border patrol might pick me up for sounding like an immigrant. A few months ago I was soooo gung ho about what I wanted and who I was, and I feel like I've fallen into a tiny ravine. I'm pulling myself out of it, for sure--I can see the bright sunlight, hear the birds cheering me on, but I'm not there just yet.

I've noticed that when I am completely dissatisfied with my life, my living space becomes too cluttered--and last night I did an overhaul. Throwing out things that I neither need nor want and I feel 100 times better. So that's a positive thing. My Yia Yia once saw and episode of Dr. Phil and he said on the program that people who are terrible house keepers have something mentally wrong with them. I vehemently disagreed with her. But now I see where they may have a point. Having a cluttered mind translates to having a cluttered living space. You hold onto things that you don't need, because you're afraid that if you let go, then you'll drop everything that you've been holding onto. You know that you're not in any position to pick up anything else, but these things have grown attached to you, and you to them. So you hold on. Look for a bigger space so that you can put more things in places, but in all actuality, you're enabling yourself to hold on to more and more crap. When you just need to let go. Let go of the hurt, the shame, the guilt. Only when are arms are truly open can we receive the things we really want and need, not what we think we want and need.

I've been creating this curriculum for the JR high kids that asks the question, "Are we over medicating our kids?" And I came across a pretty interesting statistic--our brains do not fully mature until we're thirty. THIRTY! So it's no wonder that I don't have all of my shit completely straightened out yet--I'm just now getting to maturity! ^^ Oh humor, you never fail me.

I've started the "what the hell am I going to do after Korea" talks and I'm still at a loss. I yearn for stability and discipline but I can't seem to get my mind to understand that just because I have discipline doesn't mean that I can't have creativity. I'm working on this concept and it seems really easy to understand but I've had this block against discipline for so long that it brings Pink Floyd's "The Wall" to a whole new level.
The saga continues I suppose.

Who's up for some pictures?



This is a plate my sister can appreciate. ^^



Sandrich anyone?



This is the Starbucks in Insadong--it's the only one I know of that the sign is written in Korean. Holla!



Because we all need a little style...or styl even.



Does this font look familiar? Hello pirated Disney font!!

Sigh. Okay. I feel a little better. I'm seeing Harry Potter after work tonight so it's time to say "expelliarmus" to these crummy feelings.

xox
c

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Holy Bloggerton, Batman!

Hoy Hoy Dear Readers,

All three of you... hehehe I keeed I keeed.

You know, I started this blog out with the intention of writing more and more, and lately it just hasn't been the case. In a matter of 4 days, yes, 4 days, I will have been in Korea for 7 months. SEVEN MONTHS! Can you believe it? Where has the time gone? Certainly not to blogging about it...Perhaps I should start again....

Why hello there, Dear Readers!

Much has been going on--most of it in the teaching area, but it has kept me from writing to you all. Apologies and beers all around.

School has kept me pretty busy, but I really enjoy it. I'm fairly certain I will be signing up for another year after my contract ends in January. It's an easy job (relatively, anyway) and I can make some pretty good money to pay off these pesky student loans. In the 7 months I have been here, I have been a play, helped a couple of causes that I believe in, worked out more, tried all sorts of different kinds of foods, experienced life in a different culture, been approved for an American Express card (Hooray! I'm Somebody!!), and I am currently undergoing the dreaded monsoon season. It's sunny right now, but the rain will come later tonight. Then we will have thunderstorms every day until Monday. Hooray? I don't dislike the rain, I just don't like it to rain EVERY day. We all deserve a little sunshine now and then. I'm told that when we get into the thick of Monsoon Season that the rain won't really cool anything off--it's just a hot, wet mess. ugh. There is a reason why I left Florida...hehe At least there aren't any alligators here, right? Right?! ^^

I haven't travelled anywhere as of yet--although many of my co-workers go to Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, and Malaysia for our holidays. I have been venturing in to Seoul and checking out the many different places. I even adopted a cat, which makes it a little harder to go travel for a week. In September we have another holiday (Chuseok--The Korean Thanksgiving) and we get an entire week off...I have decided that I will undergo lasik surgery so that I do not have to be dependent on my glasses and contacts anymore. I'm told that it will take a week to recover so it's a good thing that I will be doing this over the holiday. I do plan on going to places though--Vietnam is first on my list. I would also like to go to Cambodia and Japan, but Vietnam first.

In other news...I will be participating in my FIRST 5 K on July 17th!! Wish me luck! Granted, I will be walking it, so I may not need THAT much luck, but kind wishes are always appreciated. ^^ I live near Seoul National University of Education and they have a track that I can walk on at night. Because It is going to rain tonight, I just may go to the gym instead--but I seriously need to stretch my muscles. My best friend, Kat, and I went to a boot camp workout yesterday morning and BOY am I ever sore. Tuesday was "cardio" day and I nearly had cardio-failure. ^^ My calves, thighs, and obliques are KILLING ME. I still want to keep this momentum going though. I've gone down a pant size already since I've been here but I need to do more. ^^ Korean food is actually pretty heathy stuff so that is always nice. I generally don't eat foreign (i.e. American, Greek, Mexican, etc) food because well, for one thing it is expensive. You have to pay a VAT tax when purchasing meals at restaurants. Another reason I don't really dig the foreign food is that it simply isn't AS good as it is back home. I've adopted my Yia Yia's mantra of "why bother?" ^^ Of course, she would say this when she saw minimal christmas lights up around the neighborhood. :)


Anyway...it's time for some pictures, yeah?







The first is of the latest addition, Dresden Baptwo Shea--My friend Erica brilliantly quipped that I should post this picture around town with the words, "Dresden Disapproves." I love this face.



Picture two depicts some Korean kitty litter-- notice how the homeboy kitties are whipping it out--and checking each other's junk out...classic! "Oh Korea..."



This is a busy street in Myeongdog--a tremendous shopping area in Seoul.



This was taken around Buddha's birthday celebration. All of Seoul was covered with paper lanterns. It happened to rain on his birthday so many of the celebrations were cancelled.



This is a building that promises "viewtiful views!" heheh Gotta love the Konglish!


Anywho...I hope all is well with you and I will try to post more often.

xox
c