In the wake of this election, I have been going through a lot of emotions. I'm a teacher, so I have to keep up a happy face at work, when all I want to do is kick, and scream, and shout. My friends have been a God-send to me but ultimately they cannot take away the burden of what I'm feeling.
I'm afraid. I'm really afraid. I'm afraid for my brothers and sisters throughout the world who are LBGT+, Muslims, and minorities. I'm afraid for women. I'm afraid for anyone who is going to be on the list of Trump's agenda. The whole rhetoric of "First they came for the socialists," keeps ringing in my ears. These are terrifying times.
And I really, really want to give you hope, dear reader. But I'm looking around and I'm not finding anything to give you that will satisfy the hunger in your belly. And I'm sorry.
Aside from the American political hole we're in, Korea is also dealing with their own presidential woes. If you haven't read about it, you can do so here. So yeah, it's been a very edgy few weeks, to put it mildly.
And yes, I always tend to get tremendously homesick around this time of year. Thanksgiving was always a great holiday for my family and I miss them. Maybe next year I will finagle a trip home for Thanksgiving--we'll see. ^^
So yeah.
I've been a little depressed, to say the least. And I've been keeping myself there because I was just so exhausted. I even told a friend this: "I'm sad for this election. I'm sad for Korea. I'm sad because I'm trying to find something to be hopeful about. I'm sad because I'm lashing out at people for stupid things. I'm sad because I feel too much and if I begin to express any of it, I'm told to toughen up. I just need time to deal with it all, I guess. And I'm not afforded that."
Yeah... you were guessing that was coming, huh?
But you know, I'm just exhausted from feeling this way. And I've been looking for hope in any place I could find it.
And then my dear friend Yv posted something on IG:
And I was reminded. Christmas is coming!
When I was a little girl, I would tell my mom that I wanted something and she would respond in a sing songy voice, "Christmas is Coming!" And yeah, maybe it was not so satisfying hearing that at a young age because I really wanted whatever it was that was going to prove my worth to my peers. But now? Hearing it reminds me that something better is coming.
Seeing the Rockerfeller tree coming down the street on a big semi, it reminds me that no matter what, there is goodness. There is connection. There are families. There is a city that will come together and sing songs. And for me personally, it's a reminder that I have a Savior and I will celebrate His birth. And in times like these, my faith is what I need to cling to.
So there it is, my ray of "hope." My "yes we can." My "change I can believe in." And that's how I can move "forward."
Love and Light to you all.
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