A Secret Smile

It's amazing what a little crush can do.

Here you are, minding your own business, when all of a sudden you are attacked by a fleet of soundless butterflies in your stomach, bubbling up to your heart like a poison, or perhaps some fourth grade science project involving a homemade volcano. It's messy, unpredictable, and nerve racking. And by the time the poison has reached your mouth, you smile ever-so-slightly.

It's not love. Because what's love? Love cannot possible prolong this feeling; if anything, it only kills the crush. The crush causes day dreams; love, only nightmares of losing that person or thing. A crush is like having too much coffee one morning and around eleven o'clock you feel like you're going to bounce out of your skin. It brings this feeling that you know you are made for bigger and better things. It feels like a crisp November morning, filled with new and inviting smells, sounds, tastes, and eye candy. Everything's candy.
And if nothing happens? It's no big deal. It's just a crush. They aren't meant to be taken seriously--if you disagree, you aren't using the crush responsibly. Crushes are harmless by design but can be a vehicle to obsession if driven by the wrong reasons and ill intentions...so for now, put it on cruise control. Trust in the good time. And let it ride.

I have a little crush. And He'll never know. Because it's my secret. Mine to tell my girlfriends and giggle. An almost-30-year-old. Giggling. Basking in the glory of all that is feminine. All that is human. All that is me. Me and my crush.