Thirty.

Three days ago I hit a milestone--I turned thirty, and thirty is a funny number. When you're not thirty, it is almost as if you are a little kid looking up at the jungle gym, wondering how you're going to conquer such a thing. And year by year, you strategize, draw up plans, and reach your arms up to touch the cold, scary metal. By the time you can touch the bars, you don't really want it. You long for the days that you were content playing on the swings and going down the slide--why, why did you choose the jungle gym. You've just heard that life on top of it is just amazing--the view, incredible. Suddenly this jungle gym has become the Eiffel Tower.

And then, you climb. You take time to enjoy the sights and smells along the way, ingesting everything your senses can latch onto. Some days are better than others--but you weather the storm and conquer the metal of ages--and you sit on top of the world thinking, "I am thirty. Look at all I've done!" Actually--that's not you at all, that is more or less your parents, friends, lover, what-have-you. You will never see your progress because you're fixated on others in their climb. There isn't a mirror that you can view your amazing and daring feat to make it to thirty--perhaps if there were one, you wouldn't have made it. But the air and view up here is incredible and you're glad you've made it thus far, while taking a pause to remember everyone who didn't.

Okay, so maybe I've romanticized it a bit--turning thirty is scary---I'm not married. I don't have children. I will be getting a Bachelors in English in the Spring but I'm graduating with students who are twenty-two or twenty-three. I live alone. I am unemployed. I don't even have a cat.
But I'm really not bitter. And I don't regret anything. Everything I have been through has shaped me into the person that I am...and I like myself. Yes, I wish I could have made better decisions about school and being more active in my community as well as my health, but if I had to go back and do it again, even though I know it's a bullshit scenario (who wouldn't benefit from a second go), I don't think I would. If I hadn't gone to Roosevelt University, I would not have met the amazing people I have met. My writing has definitely improved and I've been opened up to new experiences.

Looking back at my life, I'm glad that I'm thirty. I'm old enough to know better--but young enough to laugh it off. And I'm looking forward to the next thirty--however, I plan to prolong it as long as I possibly can.

So my advice to you young whippersnappers...because you knew it was coming--it's rather trite--but enjoy it. Sometimes it's better to just sit one night out of "fun" with your friends in order to discover who you really are as a person. Because if you get to your thirties and you haven't the slightest idea...you'll be in a much worse situation than you ever thought possible.