A Good Thing

So it's December 29th. Glad we all survived that apocalypse. Although many of my spiritual friends have told me that it isn't necessarily an apocalypse, but a rebirth. So...Happy Birthday?

2013 is upon us and I have to say that I was grateful for 2012. I grew more as a human being and I am thankful for the experience. I accomplished a lot in the allotted time (more writing, more focus on what I want to achieve, etc) and I am proud to say that I made it through yet another year.

2013 will be a year of even more abundance and growth, and for that I am thankful. I did say goodbye to some amazing people in Korea in 2012 but I am hopeful for the new friends I will meet in the upcoming year. Not to mention the equally wonderful people I met and have gotten to know this year. 2013 will also be a year of transformations. I have slacked off considerably on working out, and I feel it. But I am ready to begin anew when the clock strikes midnight. And yes, I can start now, but I like the idea of starting fresh. I also like procrastinating. Surprised? Hardly.

I'm starting to think of what I want to resolve in 2013. Last year, I came up with 12 resolutions:

New Year Resolutions:
1. Learn to read/write/speak more Korean
2. Keep up with my fitness goals
3. Travel :)
4. Relax
5. Be financially free
6. Get closer to God
7. Fall in Love
8. Put myself first:)
9. Sing
10. Write :)
11. Be proactive
12. Fulfill my purpose

I did learn more Korean, kept up with my fitness goals (up until the last few months), I travelled to Cambodia and Vietnam, I relaxed more, I feel I became closer to God, I sang, I wrote, I was more proactive than I had been in years, and I finally came to terms with my issues of being a writer. I didn't actually become financially free or fall in love...unless I can count falling in love with me.

Falling in love...with me. Yes, I said it. I've always had a love/hate relationship with myself...mostly I loved to hate me. I had this idea in my head that degrading myself made me more humble, and that's just not the case. Then I would make myself wrong for putting myself down. And that's not right either. But then I came to realize that I was never comfortable being me, because I never allowed myself to be me. It was always some version of what I thought everyone wanted to see. I was an actress in my own life. And I guess I was convincing--to most people. But there were a few who knew me well enough to call me out on my bullshit.

To be honest, that is one that I've always hated--being called out. It's forcing you to take responsibility where you just don't want to. I do have a good friend who always calls me out...and I'm never comfortable with it because it makes me reexamine myself. Which means time for inner reflection. Which means I have to mull over my actions. It's like editing. I start second guessing myself and it makes me feel terrible.

But all in all, it is what good friends do. They hold you accountable for being you. Because they love you and they strive for truth. And because I love now love myself, or at least I am trying to (sometimes I don't make it very easy), I too am striving for truth. And that, my dear readers is what Martha Stewart calls "a good thing."

Happy New Year!

Hugs and Kisses!
c